"I’m leery of passion for a few reasons. But one of them is that passion is not a plan. It’s a feeling and feelings change. They do. You can be passionate about a person one day, at a job and then not passionate the next. We know this and yet we continue to use passion as the yardstick to judge everything by, instead of seeing passion for what it really is, the fire that ignites when you start rubbing sticks together. Anyway I was such a mess when I was in my twenties, such a mess, I was anxious and depressed and had no life to speak of. I was tempting to keep my options open and I was sitting around at night in my underwear watching Seinfeld reruns, actually I still do that, that’s not the worst thing in the world to do. Fine.
The pressure starts really young and it goes your whole life but it’s perhaps most pronounced when you’re graduating from school, right? Wow, the world at your feet, what are you going to do now? And it’s so intimidating it’s like picking a major for life. I had a hard time picking a major for four years and I changed that once if not twice. I mean it was like just intimidating. And this compelling, I mean this really forceful cultural imperative to choose your passion is stressful to me but it’s not just me. Everyone I talked to agrees with me. The woman who sold me this dress, I told her what I needed to dress for when I was talking about and she said, oh my gosh, I really need to hear this talk because I just graduate from school, my friends and I we don’t know what we’re passionate about. We don’t know what we’re supposed to do.
And so I did it, I signed up, I became a jewelry designs rep and listen to me I was not setting the world on fire away, really. I was so like awkward and afraid of selling, and I got better, I got better. I started making some money. I started getting really passionate about it, not just because of the money but because what I realized is people bought at the stuff. They were happy to pay for it. I sold so much jewelry that year. I won a free trip to St. Thomas. I eventually let my jewelry business go because my career path shifted, but I was so glad that I did that because it planted an entrepreneurial seed I didn’t know was there and that bears fruit to this day.
Now as you know, an entire cottage industry has sprung up around helping people find their passions, write books, coaching, webinars, whatever and their heart is in the right place, it’s great. I’m all about self-discovery. But when you ask someone what’s your passion, it’s triggering. It’s like upsetting, like oh my god, I have to come up with a good answer for this.
Passion is not a job, a sport or a hobby. It is the full force of your attention and energy that you give to whatever is right in front of you. And if you’re so busy looking for this passion, you could miss opportunities that change your life. You could also miss out on great love because that’s what happens when you have tunnel vision trying to find the one. We all think we know the kind of person we are and the kind of person we could love. But sometimes we’re wrong, blissfully wrong.
Stop searching for your passion-Terri Trespicio